International Day for Persons with Disabilities

One evening at my grandma’s friend’s special day there were plans to do a bonfire night where they had a lot of tasks to do with equipment. My grandma’s close friend Val was collecting branches of trees and my grandma was helping me chop them with a large sliver saw with spikes underneath. The weather was cold, frosty, so we all wore warm woolly knitted hats, gloves and scarves, and a nice warm coat with a hood one .This made us allfeel excited for the big day. My grandma was expressing my thoughts and feelings bysinging joyful songs that lifted our mood up feeling positive.

Everything was set into stone with a bonfire night fire was lit up and now it was time for the fireworks. It was a very bright orange yellow colour I could see from the distance through a window. It was like the sun was shining at me on summer's day.This made me feel sick and dizzy . The fireworks were different sizes, small and too big. The noise was screeching, it sounded like someone crying in pain. There were vibrant coloured rocket colours of the rainbow. Catherine wheels going in a circle like the carousel.

It was coming to the end of the evening, so I felt a bit hungry. I asked my grandad to get me a nice toffee apple with dark chocolate around it with colourful sprinkles on it. He gave it to me, so I gave him a big hug for doing good favour. My grandfather was expressing his thoughts and feelings by huffing and puffing. Overall, even though I found it a bit of a battle with my mental health anxiety and social phobia being around others outside. That didn’t stop me from letting my weakness define me. I was watching them in the huge house sitting by the table and chairs with candles on them. Which I managed to blow out. That brought me happiness.

Since I was little I was always curious about things my family were cooking or baking in the kitchen and baked cakes for as long as I can remember. I usually make cakes for occasions as a surprise and have made various other sweet treats that never last long! I just love being busy in the kitchen and seeing people's faces light up at the end result and enjoying the baked goods!

After Eight White Chocolate Fudge

What you'll need

Non-Stick Saucepan, Spatula , Mixing Bowl, Square Tin, Baking Parchment (or Greaseproof Paper), Chopping Board & Knife

Ingredients 

450g White Chocolate 

397g Condensed Milk 

8 After Eight Mint Thins (+ extra if you want to add to top of the fudge!)

Method

1. Line the bottom and the sides of the tin with baking parchment and put to one side.

2. Break or chop the white chocolate into smaller pieces and place in a saucepan with the condensed milk. Melt the ingredients over low to medium heat, stirring occasionally until smooth. 

3. Transfer the fudge mixture into a bowl to cool down to room temperature (otherwise the after eights will melt). Chop the After Eights ready and once the fudge cools down stir it in gently.

4. Transfer the fudge into your tin with parchment paper and press it down into the tin to get a flat even top. (If you want to add extra After Eights, add them to the top of your fudge). 

5. Chill the tin in the fridge for 2 hours (or overnight) and once it's set, remove the fudge from the tin and it's ready for cutting.

Holly is a relatively new Able Network Member, and wanted to share her story of her recent diagnosis and how this debilitating condition can affect someone’s every day life. 

As of November 2024, the non-cancer gynecology waiting lists in the UK have reached a staggering 750,000, equivalent to filling Wembley Stadium 8 times over. These lists have grown by a third since 2021, with many women and individuals assigned female at birth who have been diagnosed or suspected of having endometriosis. Recent reports highlight the detrimental effects of long waiting lists, including worsening mental health and hindering daily activities, such as work. While Health Ministers are working on plans to improve the situation, health leaders acknowledge that women are being let down.

This hits close to home for me, as I have personally experienced the devastating effects of these long waiting lists. For over 15 years, I have battled with chronic pain, debilitating periods, depression, chronic fatigue, and bowel and bladder issues, to name but a few symptoms. Unfortunately, my journey was marked by disappointment as I was turned away by multiple GPs, leaving me feeling like my suffering was insignificant. I kept my pain and symptoms hidden from everyone in my life, believing that I was being overly dramatic. 

As I approached my thirties and felt the desire to start a family, along with the support and encouragement from my partner, I took matters into my own hands to find some answers.  I decided to use the help of a female fertility company to undergo blood tests & scans as well as speak to one of their specialists, which revealed a strong potential for Endometriosis - a chronic disease in which tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus. However, when I took this information to my GP to request a referral for a Gynecology appointment, I was once again met with refusal and dismissal of my concerns. 

Earlier this year, I decided to do my own research as my pain was only increasing as I grew older. During my research, I discovered that even with an NHS Gynecology appointment, there is a possibility that the healthcare professionals may not be familiar with the appearance of Endometriosis or how to effectively remove it. From this, I decided to find a local endometriosis specialist at a private hospital. After telling her my symptoms she strongly suspected that I had the condition, but surgery was necessary for a definitive diagnosis. I agreed to undergo the surgery and was placed on the specialist's NHS waiting list, with an estimated wait time of six months. However, eight months passed and I had not received any communication regarding my appointment. When I contacted the hospital for an update, they informed me that I would have to wait for at least another six months.

Endometriosis can have a significant impact on fertility and the ability to conceive. The longer the condition is left untreated, the more severe it can become. Fortunately, I had the support of my family, who helped me financially to undergo private surgery. On October 28th, I received a diagnosis of stage 2 peritoneal endometriosis which was mostly removed as well as some on my womb which could not be removed as it is deemed too dangerous. I was lucky it had not spread any further and done serious damage to my major organs. Despite the removal of the majority of the endometriosis, it will inevitably grow back, and I will have to manage the condition for the rest of my life.

The extended wait times for endometriosis are incredibly concerning as Endometriosis is not a menstrual disease but a full-body disease. Research has shown that endometriosis has been found in every organ in the body, including the lungs and the brain. These prolonged wait times not only heighten the risk of infertility but also increase the likelihood of irreversible organ damage, which can often lead to permanent life changes,  such as the requirement of a stoma bag.

Endometriosis affects approximately 1 in 10 women and individuals assigned female at birth of reproductive age in the UK. Shockingly, it takes an average of 8 years and 10 months from the initial GP visit to receive a diagnosis for this condition. It is crucial to emphasise that endometriosis should not be ignored or subject to gender bias. Openly discussing and raising awareness about endometriosis is essential. If you have any concerns or suspect that you may have endometriosis, I strongly encourage you to seek medical help and support.

It can get tiring and frustrating but you have to keep pushing and advocating for yourself. Health is the most important thing!

Our next article is from Sarah who has been an Able network member since we first began. An active ambassador within the Able yapster group, I hope you enjoy hearing Sarah’s story. 

Hi, I'm Sarah. I work in the Childrenswear and Home departments at NEXT 349 and have been here for 10 years now. When I am not at work I am often watching performances at our very local theatre just up the street from work, particularly musicals, dance or music performances.

I studied English and Drama at University, final graduation was in BA Hons Drama. So whether it is my theatrical and dance background I am always up for dressing up in something sparkly. I did my university dissertation about the musical Wicked and about how it can be used for educational purposes so I am very excited about the film(s) coming out and about all the merchandise that has been released. 

I felt a connection with Elphaba and other characters who are seen as different and bullied for being their own individual selves.

This is because I have always had hand-eye coordination difficulties and was always my own person rather than following what other people thought people should dress like or be interested in. Even when I tried to fit in as a teenager, I got asked why I was copying how others were dressing. As an adult, I have found out I have hypermobile joints and this is a contributory factor towards my coordination also now has led to chronic pain and fatigue. 

I have such a supportive team around me on childrenswear and home, colleagues and management support has meant a lot over the last year or two. Whether it is being listening ears to my latest dramas or reminding me to not use all my energy up all at once they have been there for me when I have needed them. I find the store as a whole a very inclusive and friendly group of colleagues. Someone will give you a smile or a wave as you cross on the stairs or the escalators and that can help to pass the smile around to keep cheerful. 

Within the childrenswear department, I have a specific focus on shoes and accessories. Cinderella is proof that finding the right shoe can change your life 😄. No matter how many pairs of shoes I already own, I am always on the hunt for a good pair of shoes. I wear insoles in my shoes to help with the biomechanics of how I walk. 

I love to arrange things by considering colours, types and pattern when considering how to display them, although this always seems to take more time than I would have hoped or expected to start with. The end results are always very 

satisfying to see however. There is always a new project on the go or some new lines to fit in so some reshuffling has to happen so I see it as a artwork that is constantly changing. A blank canvas does come with each new season and that can be a blessing to have a start over and a refresh to start anew. I hope you all have your December survival kit ready and that you find the start to the new year a good one.

Before I begin with a couple of tips on well-being, I would like to mention that these particular tips were ones that I encountered through group therapy on coping with pain. The sessions all consisted of advice on improving wellbeing and how it affects the pain that myself and the others in the group went through on a daily basis. These tips can be adapted for each individual so don’t be afraid of trying them and changing them if you feel something else might work better for you.

The first tip is known as “Leaves on a Stream” – Cognitive Diffusion Exercise. This exercise is about acknowledging your thoughts, whether you believe they are negative or positive, and then let them pass you by. The steps are:

1. Sit in a comfortable position and either close your eyes or rest them gently on a fixed spot in the room.

2. Imagine yourself sitting beside a gently flowing stream with leaves floating along the surface of the water. Pause for 10 seconds and watch the steam in your mind.

3. For the next few minutes, take each thought that enters your mind and place it on a leaf, place it into the river and let it float by. Do this with each thought – pleasurable, painful, or neutral. Even if you have joyous or enthusiastic thoughts, place them on a leaf and let them float by.

4. If your thoughts momentarily stop, continue to watch the stream. Sooner or later, your thoughts will start up again. If you find yourself distracted, take a few deep breaths and think about watching the stream, once you are ready, you can try this again.

For this exercise, let the stream flow at its own pace, don’t try to speed it up and rush your thoughts along. You’re not trying to rush the leaves along or “get rid” of your thoughts., you are allowing them to come and go at their own pace. If your mind says “This is dumb,” “I’m bored,” or “I’m not doing this right” place those thoughts on leaves, too, and let them pass. If a leaf gets stuck, allow it to hang around until it’s ready to float by. If the thought comes up again, watch it float by another time.

I tried this method myself a few times and while the rest of the group found it helpful, I found that I would put a leaf in the stream but then start walking along the bank in my mind to follow it as I wasn’t ready to let the thought go yet. While lighting a candle to help me relax one evening, I had the thought of changing the setting in the exercise to see if that would help.

I began thinking about being in the middle of a woods/forest at night, within a circle of trees and a full moon being in the sky with a small campfire in front of me. I find myself relaxing, watching the fire flicker, feeling the breeze and hearing the crackling of the wood. After some time, I had thoughts start to drift through, one at a time I would write the thought on a leaf and then gently place it intothe fire and watch it burn away. I personally found this more helpful as I was still acknowledging the thoughts but because I was burning them, I couldn’t follow and try to keep a hold of the thoughts.

If this is something that you would like to try for yourself, I have found a video that you can follow until you feel comfortable enough to try it on your own.

My other advice is to have a look into creating a flare up plan/well-being plan, this is to be personalised and changed to fit you. To begin, try to think and make a note of any changes you have noticed, or ask those around you if you aren’t sure, when you begin to struggle, this might be mental, physical or both. Think about all aspects of changes, such as; physical reactions, changes in thoughts, emotions and behavior changes. Try to take notice of any risk factors, such as health changes, stressful situations, poor sleep, unexpected events, disruptions to routines.

Once you have theses noted down, start to think about the things that help you feel better during these times – this can be things such as having a comfort food/drink, music, reading, an item/s that bring you comfort whether that’s physically like a blanket or for sentimental reasons, like a soft toy. If it's physical things, it could be helpful to have a basket or bag stored somewhere with these items at the ready. Each time after using your plan, reflect on what you found to be helpful and if there is anything else you wanted/needed or might have found helpful. Also reflect on what caused you to use the plan and if there is any other skills that you could use in the future

My personally flare up plan includes; a soft blanket, fluffy socks, a hot drink, a bottle of water, a book, earphones to block other noises, music (different depending on the reason for the flare up and the severity), something savory and something sweet to snack on, I send a message to a friend to make them aware as talking about it to someone makes me feel less alone going through it, making my partner aware so they can periodically check on me and see if I need/want anything else, sometimes a comfort show/film (I have a few different ones depending on how I feel at the time), video games and 3 different soft toys (different sizes and amount of stuffing).

I use this plan more often than I would like, however each time I can think of things to adapt to help me to take some time to take care of myself. For example, when I first made the plan, I had to get a tattoo/piercing on it, and while these do make me feel calmer, the healing process is not great during a flare up and it can get very pricey if I have a lot of flair ups close together.

Please do remember that these are suggestions, and there are a lot of different resources available which are linked here for you to access.

For anyone you could argue that one piece of music can trigger a memory, an emotion, a hope, and for disabled people and carers music can be an absolute lifeline and something we constantly talk about within the Able network….below is Jade’s thoughts on music recommendations and how music impacts her. 

Hello everyone, thank you for giving this a read. I am a member of the payroll team at head office and an active member within the Able space (though you might also see my name pop up in other spaces as I like to get my hands into everything). I’m 29 and have been a part of next for a year now and couldn’t be happier with so many amazing people that have helped to bring me out of my shell, and because of that I have been able to write this.

I thought for the first article to recommend music that I would include a couple of different songs/artists with different genres so there is a range for people to try out. Music can be really therapeutic for different reasons, one of which is using it to help process emotions, for example; screaming out along with loud songs, listening to lyrics that make you think about your own experiences and memories, listening to upbeat songs to motivate you or to try to have a more positive mindset and many other reasons.

For the first recommendation, I have chosen “When I’m gone” by Eminem. When listening to this I find myself reflecting on my life for the past, present and thinking about the future. I think about any mistakes and regrets from the past but also the people that were in it and the bonds I had with them, the present as in what I am currently doing with my life and anything that I want to change/do, and then the future, what/who I will eventually leave behind. I find myself thinking about my little sister who passed when we were both very young (her age 3 and I was 7), I think about the tattoo I got when I was 16 in her honour and the things I do to keep my memories of her alive though they are fading and how I tried to protect her from the things she had to go through with her health and our family situation. I also find during the chorus that I think about what will happen to those I will leave behind when I pass, and how I would want them to think of the good times and smile, I don’t want people to be upset when it eventually happens, I want them to celebrate the life that I hand and the bonds I created with everyone. It's a very bitter sweet song for me personally but one that I find myself going back to time and time again. 

My second recommendation is “The climb” by Miley Cyrus. I have been listening to this song and even tried to learn to sing it professionally when I was younger, I always found the song to be encouraging especially when I’m struggling with my mental and more recently, my physical health. The lines “The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking, sometimes might knock me down, but no, I'm not breaking”, I find myself drifting to more and more in recent months as my health is deteriorating, it reminds me that while I’m struggling currently and there may not be a light at the end of the tunnel or I might not get the outcome that I want, I will continue to be me and not let anything keep me down for long. This song also has another personal meaning for me as my mother has chosen this song for her funeral when she passes. Unfortunately, in my family, we have experienced a lot of loss at young ages and due to this we have all planned out our funerals prepared for when the time comes. My mom uses this song for similar reasons as myself, we have both experienced a lot of negative things in our lives, and while they may get us down, we don’t let them keep us down for long. It is her wish that I sing this song for her when the time comes and I want to honour her with this. 

 My final recommendation for this article is “Never give in” by Black Veil Brides. I have always been a big fan of the band and this particular song has great meaning for me, to the point of getting two lines tattooed on my shoulder as a constant reminder. The chorus is a repeat of the lines “Never give in, never back down” which is something I tell myself every day since I was a teenager. The song helped me get through college, putting boundaries in with family members which included completely cutting some off that didn’t support me in any way and often negatively affected me (mentally, emotionally and even financially), get through doing my university course while working full time and encouraged me to continue with therapy and fighting for a diagnosis and medical help when results come back as “normal” - a word I’m sure we have all come across at some point and questioned. This is a song I can scream out with all of my heart and put all of my emotions into it. The last four lines especially, as it is a reminder that I am a fighter and I won’t let anything get in my way, these lines are “When your life feels lost, fight against all odds, never give in, Never back down.”

If you have a song that means something to you and would like to share it, please get in touch. All are welcome and I would love to hear from you.